Former Beta Male Benefits

It occurred to me that the pickup community denigrates Beta males for their providership, chodey, weak behaviour – and how it creates a soft relationship dynamic that peters out at the sign of trouble. Betas get girls – I did a number of times – but they cannot sustain the dynamic.

On a timeline, I would argue it is better to start off as a Beta and then grow into a learnt Alpha. When you come from a bad place – like being a fat kid – then you hope to never return there. And when you do inadvertently return there, you know the surrounds, the vibe, the feeling of being there – like a trip to Los Angeles and feeling you have already been there from years of TV abuse and detective shows.

I built a lot of value as a Beta:

1. Extensive literary understanding – with my favourite writer being Somerset Maugham

2. Three languages – Spanish, Portuguese, Thai

3. A host of artistic interests – piano, singing, hosting music jams, learning a number of dance styles

4. Knowledge acquisition on a variety of fronts – I mean, who reads these days?

5. Two long-term relationships, a number of girlfriends, and a son

6. Being fat and then losing weight and gaining strength – very important to me now as I know the dark side of fattiness, inflammation, and weakness

The same gains could be made as a proverbial Alpha, yet the tail I chase these days uses up much of my energy and focus. How would I have achieved the above as a natural? The sexual effort/reward cycle is short enough now to lose focus on other aspects of self-development.

I write this because my neighbour is a natural Gamer, more like a Sigma – a nomadic traveller, adventurer, lover. He recently embarked on a relationship with a Spanish girl and has the face of a man who does not know how to navigate the polarity required to keep her in orbit but not lose his own trajectory. He doesn’t know what it’s like to slip into a long-term relationship, how to deal with frame weakening, and what it’s like banging the same chick over and over again. Where is his reference experience?

The reference experience is all – pickup accentuates the Same Day Lay, the counterintuitive Game techniques that work (negs, false time constraints), the fast pulls and ovulatory stares. How about the natural guy who has never had a long term relationship and does not know the signs of decline? Where is the Krauser of Long-Term Relationships, replete with full-colour tomes?

The pickup community writes about the Beta Days in much the same way the born-again Christians talk about their lurid pre-born-again days – a competition of Betas telling their stories about who was the biggest loser prior to the Game awakening.

I liked the Beta days – I use those qualities right now when I game – it gives me many more tools in the Game as you can draw on unexpected qualities and break pattern with women. Not just the Artistic Game, but a broad range of qualities that give the appearance you are a Beta chode, but then break rapport and shock her with some smug, offhand comment that she never expected.

I love being exceptionally polite and then breaking pattern by exquisitely asking for her to sit on my face; or “would you ever be so kind to bend over so I can fuck you from behind”.

I love telling stories about Michel de Montaigne’s struggle with erectile dysfunction as I fumble around flaccidly in the bedroom.

I love playing piano and singing, slipping a few improvised lyrics in to suggest we should fuck on the piano a la that tawdry scene from Pretty Woman.

I love the female vignettes of Maugham, long meandering paragraphs as he describes the intimate psychology of a woman in a book like Of Human Bondage or The Razor’s Edge. Likely a closet homosexual, he was earthy and lusty and knew a lot about women and their internal lives.

I love being a former Beta.

3 thoughts on “Former Beta Male Benefits

  1. Wow. Brave and interesting post, man. I’m very impressed.

    This kind of nuance will not make you popular with the lo-fi meathead players (or those that aspire to be, which are legion), but I like GAME FOR MEN THAT THINK. You seem of that variety.

    I think you have some things to work out in your argument, but it is interesting all the same.

    > 5. Two long-term relationships, a number of girlfriends, and a son

    This ^ is some of the best evidence of your support for “beta” (monogamous?) advocacy. I’ll make it personal and say I may never have kids, in part as “I know too much” now. I love my life, but the edge that cuts into glory has a second side that cuts into me… if I don’t have kids, that will be a kind of regret.

    I see what you mean.

    > I love being exceptionally polite and then breaking pattern by exquisitely asking for her to sit on my face; or “would you ever be so kind to bend over so I can fuck you from behind”.

    I see this too. I can be nice/polite. I’m an artist. I’m clean (sounds ridiculous, but it’s rather rare). I have cats (don’t tell anyone I said that). But I can bring some shock/awe as I escalate quickly and consistently. I can be very physical, flavors of BDSM that offset my softer side. I can be super intense, when it counts.

    I don’t think having a softer side is beta… not exactly. Beta is in a lack of standards… and insight. To use the first horrible example that came to my mind… you can smoother someone with a pillow. It’s not the material, but the thought behind it.

    I think you sound like a very high value guy… but you are smart enough to realize that value is more than a kickboxing career or a gun collection. Nothing wrong with those. It’s just that the caricature of the alpha is so shallow that a lot of value is discounted.

    Excellent post.


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