Date Report 001 – Dutch Girl

I met her in Martin Place as part of my boot camp with Paul and Zac.

She was dreamy and I had seen her a number of times while walking up Pitt St. I front stopped her and had the sun in my face; her eyes were brown and bright; her face a little ruddy; and her tan likely the product of a day’s tanning at a local beach.

The stack was silly – dreamy walk, tan, etc. I picked her as Northern European, called her Polish, and then she told me she was Dutch. My heart dropped – Dutch girls were beautiful but their energy is drab and direct. I contained myself, stacked further about my work, and then closed strong and got her number.

We arranged a date for the next Thursday and met at the Glenmore Hotel in Sydney. Great rooftop bar but crowded with Christmas parties. She turned up in a red jumpsuit, surprised me by covering my eyes…and when I opened them I inadvertently redirected my eyes to her breasts. Poor start.

She was a drinker, a smoker and a vegan. One of them was a vice in my opinion. Good open, about an hour on the rooftop, and she mentioned a liking for Billie Holliday. I moved venue after about 45 min, my voice croaky after sharing (socially) five menthol cigarettes.

We ended up at Cafe Lounge in Surry Hills. She and I shared hamburgers and I spiked with the usual questions about telling me a secret, sexual escapade, etc. She had unusual eyes, the kind that would follow you around when you moved your head, like holes in the eyes of a painting portrait scanning you as you strolled around a gallery.

Dutch females are direct – too direct and have it as part of their strong identity – and this in my opinion skews sexual polarity to a point where a man really has to dominate to achieve some kind of sexual tension; or let her do the work. A Dutch man I met near Amsterdam confided that he never went back to Dutch women after his Dutch girl at the time just stopped having sex with him mid-coitus – later that week he met a Brazilian and never went back.

I had shared a sexual adventure story with her to see if she would offer the same – she did. A nameless French guy (“I can’t remember now – it’s in the past”) she fucked in some rose bushes while her colleagues looked on. Incredulously, she said to me that if she ever fell in love with someone she would tell them 100% the truth about her past, including stories like these, because she valued the truth. I admonished her and said no guy investing in a girl ever wanted to hear a story of his girl being railed like that. She demanded to know: “why? It’s the truth.” I knew the date was done at this point.

There was a jazz band playing and I got up to sing. A few cigarettes, some awkward moments, and a few smashed shot glasses. We wrapped up and she suddenly panicked about missing her bus so I gave her a warm hug and said goodbye.

I reached out to her later if she wanted to see me and she said she was too busy before her trip to Melbourne. (Despite her directness, most women don’t seem to be able to overtly reject a guy and so let them fade away – men ought to do the same.) So I called out the elephant in the room and said I knew she wasn’t attracted to me and wished her well, with the warning that she should never tell a guy she loves that she was smashed by some nameless French guy in a rose bush while colleagues looked on…

Daygame Bootcamp – Part Three Final

Coach Paul asked his assistant Zak to join us and as we were relaxing on the steps of the GPO in Martin Place watching talent walk by, they asked me what I was trying to get out of this. What were my goals?

I hadn’t thought it through clearly, you know, the kind of goals you would stick to a bathroom mirror or be able to recite to anybody who asked.

I didn’t know. I mumbled a mixture of adventure sex, x number of sets/dates per week, x number of lays per month – quantifiable stuff and philosophical blue sky statements like “overcome fear of women” and “build a Daygame skill set”. Perhaps it was the adrenaline thrill, the dopamine rush, the brief moments of flirting, the equivocations of women when they have a boyfriend, or the constant challenge on the mind and heart. I don’t know – but I had been placed in a zone of feeling that gave a rush and a flow I had not experienced in years, if ever.

Zak pushed me a little – rightly so – about the weasels: those micro-doubts which lead to micro-avoidance. Some are big, some are small, some are hidden. Part of the Daygame process is to try and identify and neutralise them – they creep in and drain energy from your approaches. I get the sense it’s the forebrain creating doubt on the hindbrain’s desire to approach, with layers of societal conditioning and Nice Guyism at play.

Coach Paul, the following day, had pushed me hard and the cognitive load was taking a toll. I needed to slow down. I had realised that the highs of Daygame were being stymied by the hard rock bottom sting of blowouts and rejections and the ever-lingering weasels that drag on your psyche like dead weights around your neck.

We wrapped up our Daygame bootcamp – I had watched Coach Paul play out many one-and-two sets, pushed me to learn the tradecraft, and realised some minor successes along the way. It was addictive, exciting and challenging … and led to my first Daygame date – a cute 23 year old Dutch brunette.

Daygame Bootcamp – Part Two

Say I treated it like a field report for the two days:

1. Swedish girl – wheel around front stop, much better looking during the interaction, commented that Swedish guys only ever do this when they are drunk, last two days in Sydney …. but no close.

2. Hungarian girl – wheel around front stop, figure skater, dreamy and flirty, commented that (insert nationally) guys never do this, has a boyfriend … then a brief moment of doubt where she equivocated when I said “I don’t want to be your boyfriend”…but no close.

3. Malaysian Chinese girl – IoIs, front approach, giggly and friendly, then when I asked her about her passions she mentioned a piano …. and we were standing next to one. One song each, I sang. Strong close, got the number, later told me by text she was “being friendly”, was “bi” and “leaned towards woman”. (Predictable)

4. Argentinian – wheel around front stop, moving very quickly, dressed in black for her hospitality job. When I mentioned a South American sway, she said yes and it lead to picking her as Argentinian. I told her I had been to Buenos Aires earlier in the year she crossed her arms and said “bullshit – you’re lying”. I said: “hey, with that attitude you must be porteƱa (from Buenos Aires)”. A lot of sass, push back, attempts to escape … but a number close and texting back and forth.

5. Dutch – saw her a number of times before I made an approach in Martin Place. Good set, sun in my eyes, a few eye spazzes and some light shoulder punching. Number close and my first Daygame date (future post).

6. Plenty of bad sets – no proper stop, ejecting when a girl grabbed her handbag, ejecting when a girl was on the phone however had crossed her legs as an IoI, missed approach due to construction noise, missed approach due to weaselling a number of times, hiding behind fatigue as an excuse to not approach.

Daygame excites the senses and gives more highs and lows than I’ve ever experienced.

Daygame Bootcamp – Part One

I went to a Daygame meetup a few weeks ago which was advertised through Michael Daygame PUA to see a well-known Daygamer called Yad. Well, Yad was stuck in Singapore and the presenter went on to be a young guy by the name of Paul.

Paul gave a good presentation on Daygame under the watchful eye of the bar manager and two HBs serving drinks at the small bar attached to the function room. I was intrigued – should I take the plunge and get some coaching?

Daygame contacts had been hard to find in Sydney … yet the world opened up to me that night and a few connections formed. But what’s was I supposed to do on the street?

Paul and I met for a two day bootcamp – first a coffee to discuss my situation and story (a bit like the born-again Christians telling their sinful past … except for Betas it’s always the opposite – a clean past); and then up to Hyde Park for the first cold approach sets I had ever done in my life.

I remember it clearly – a young Brazilian girl with a sports bag walking away from me … and Coach (as I called him) told me to go do a front stop and compliment her. There was a rush of adrenaline and then I …. did it.

Surprisingly, she reacted positively and thanked me for it. The mental load was too much and it felt like my brain was bursting as I walked back to Coach Paul.

We talked about Indicators of Interest – mostly eye contact (and its various levels of intensity and frequency) – and I noticed a double eye take from a girl sitting on a bench. We walked past … and I had to return and open the set. There was no number close, a fumbled exchange and then I left.

Later, about ten minutes after, Coach Paul showed me a set and while it was happening, Double Take walked past me, taking a very long and circuitous route to get to her appointment … right past me. The Law of Proximity came into play … and after a weird set citing eyelash extensions and throwing in some talk about my son, I got her number. (She later didn’t bother replying to a text, but who cares?)

My very first number close.

Reframing and Pickup

The Player’s Journey – in my words, a giant reframing exercise for a man expressed in the form of pickup and game.

KrauserPUA talks about this (and thanks to the link from MichaelDaygame) and inspiration for writing came from The Red Quest.

For me it was the crushing feeling of leaving my son to live with his mother and realising that the Blue Pill dream of goodness through investing left me with nothing. Typical Beta story but why would pickup help?

I came home, ended a monogamous relationship with the words “I’m a lover and don’t want an exclusive relationship”, got my own place, hit dating apps and social circle game, and had sex with three leads in five days. One online lead, one night game lead, one old single mother lead.

A string of hard blue balls ensued – a local girl who felt pressured for sex after three dates, a Brazilian who didn’t want to come over after three dates, a Kenyan girl naked on my floor who said she “didn’t like sex” after being massaged and fingered, a Dutch girl who only wanted condom sex after indicating my clear STI results.

A challenge was set for me by a colleague – 24 dates by 24 December with 50% converting to sex. It felt like schoolboy locker talk. A map was set out at work with an asterisk indicating a lay and a circled number over the country in question.

Another colleague broke a long drought by dipping into Seeking and getting three raw lays within two weeks. The competition was set and it was game on.

Daygame and pickup resources became my staple – Mystery Method, Tom Torero, Krauser PUA, Heartiste, Goldmund and a string of Red Pill and game blogs to help me. There was sympathy within the community, an understanding of how something as simple as sleeping with women could transform a man.

And then the reframing set in. I started qualifying women, not seeing them again if they were flakes or the sex was ordinary, buying sex toys and sexting, hitting on lots and lots of women, becoming a cad of sorts and sexualising situations.

A small but subtle shift occurred as well – a sensing of sexual tension with women, an awareness of the delicate glances and fuck-me stares that are given in an instant. I never imagined that the Red Pill sat just below the surface and I could not see it.

Then the girl I was seeing before re-entered the picture. She knew it was wrong for her – she wanted a monogamous relationship – but, surprisingly (or not for people in this community), she didn’t care. The sex was hotter and dirtier than ever. We had sex in a spare room at a party; on the lounge while my son slept in another room; and the dominance got stronger and stronger. Now the relationship has been reframed as non-monogamous … which is exactly where it should have been initially.

The Betas of the world don’t know what the other side is like…and when you discover it you kick yourself for not knowing. It becomes personal – why did nature make me the Beta? Why am I not rewarded as a man? Why is it my struggle and not for others?

The struggle just makes the Player’s Journey more exciting.

Ego Burst

TL;DR – reason behind desire to learn Daygame/pickup and document my seduction journey

Life wasn’t meant to be easy.

At 37, having had a successful career, travelled the world for pleasure and work, and with a host of interests and passions under my belt – music, singing, comedy, dance, languages – I decided that once-and-for-all I would slay the beast and learn seduction and pickup.

It was an ego burst – I had the look, the lip and the personality and yet, and yet … ten missed approaches on Day One.

Like many men, learning seduction and pickup is borne out of failure with women, of a lack of early reference experiences, of not possessing any of the natural abilities other men have to seduce women. Really it’s a battle to overcome the Beta, slay the fat kid mentality, burn the Nice Guy image. For me, it was never settling for things I didn’t really like in my life and yet I still failed at.

The Daygame desire came at a cruel time – I left my four year old son to live with his mother and, after a period of grief, on the return drive listened to a host of Tom Torero podcasts on daygame and pickup. I arrived home, ended a monogamous relationship I was in, and dove deep into pickup, Red Pill and the desire to never again fail at things I didn’t really want for my life.

This is a truly transformative process – the changing nature of a man becomes clear. I have learnt, in a very short time, that I can go after what I want with women – and get it. The frame is the thing – women begin to respond to what you want and accept the frame that you present.

I will document in the next post the reframing process with the person wit which I had a monogamous relationship … that is now non-monogamous and hotter than ever.

Day One: Daygame

Zero approaches.

The weasels got to me early on and I approached old men and women, couples, a black guy on holiday, and wait staff. Ended up with four great portrait shots with my camera … but the purpose was to make ten approaches to women I found attractive.

Missed approaches:

1. Asian girl taking selfies next to the harbour

2. Her Latin friend

3. Blonde girl on the blanket in the park

4. Dreamy Arab girl who walked past me

5. Dreamy Latin girl in an orange top

6. Arab girl on the train who looked troubled

7. Brunette in matching leather pants and jacket

8. Numerous women strolling down the lane way while I had a tea

9. Asian girl on the train

10. Eastern European looking girl at the base of the stairs

The fact I can list these shows that I paid attention to what I found attractive … and then no action.

God help me.