TL;DR: Bad blood test results, MRI scan and a visit to the specialist.
I had come back from Europe feeling a sluggish. Perhaps it was the Steinlagers, table-sized pretzels or different renditions of pork knuckle. Or perhaps it was because life had lost its edge for me.
I did a blood test in January for testosterone which resulted in low free and total testosterone – both below the range. At the time I was taking care of my son for a month and thought it was probably single-father-induced low T … and even enquired with a friend of mine in the health industry about it! Absurd, I know.
I never really followed up on the bad results as I was still with Bumblebee on and off … and then my first successes with daygame which made me unnaturally hard in the bedroom.
Magnum and I had been chatting during my trip about what was required to be the Top Guy – looks, physique, game, approaching and escalating on women.
Part of my return to Australia was to reinvent myself and compete more fiercely in the Sexual Marketplace.
At 38, I felt it was time to put myself in the top tier of men for my age.
My goals were to:
1. Lean out to 10-15% body fat through diet, intermittent fasting and exercise
2. Maximise strength and conditioning gains for a lean, muscular look
3. Focus on one new girl/month picked up from real life, not online
4. Continue to build and expand my sex skills to include BDSM and non-monogamy
5. Accessorise my fashion and look to create a polarising, strong character
Blood Test Results
When I returned to Australia, I asked for a comprehensive blood test including testosterone levels, STIs and a general blood panel.
The real purpose was to obtain a script for Viagra/Cialis as I had noticed with the last few girls that I had weaker than expected erections. Curiously, the Japanese girls I had been with, as well as Bumblebee, there were no erectile issues.
I came back two days later and sat down in front of the doctor:
“We need to do more tests. I think your pituitary gland is not functioning to the best of its ability. You may have a cyst.”
I sat there looking at his Hard Yakka shirt, a brand of clothing in Australia representing the “tough male” – yakka meaning work.
“You will need to get an MRI to check to see whether you have a cyst. If you do, microsurgery may be required. Your pituitary is probably reduced in function by about 25% which is why your testosterone results are low“.
I left the doctor with a list of new tests to complete – prolactin, haemochromotosis and an MRI scan. Hard yakka indeed.
The whole thing put me in a bit of a spin.
The lady asked me to strip down to my underpants. I sheepishly told her I did not wear any. She returned with a pair of paper undies.
The MRI was 25 minutes of jackhammering despite the earplugs, headphones and drone of Adele (which was more painful than any hearing loss from the MRI).
I went back a few days later and the results were negative.
“We have an issue, however – your prolactin is sky high. The range is 80-500 and yours is 2000!”, Dr Hard Yakka told me. He sent me to a specialist.
TodayGame4 and I popped into the hospital. I flirted with the Greek Australian MILF at reception and joked that I needed to do so to get an appointment within three months. She laughed and said she enjoyed the flirting however a vacancy had already come up in a few days.
I returned and saw the specialist. He asked to look at my testicles and I warned him that they had shrunk a little in the last few months.
“Shrunk?!” He exclaimed as he fondled my balls with gloved hands. “These look like a 20-25ml set – perfectly normal!”
He produced a series of glass beads, each progressively larger. I imagined the set of beads I had pulled out of the American’s vagina when she was strengthening her pelvic floor … and the black woman who had put them in anally in some random porn video I had seen on the net.
“See? I can tell the size of a pair of testicles from sight”. This man had clearly completed his 10000 hours of deliberate practice. Malcolm Gladwell came to mind.
“Your problem, Red Coco, is that your prolactin is putting a break on your testosterone production and lowering your libido. Have you felt any symptoms?” The doctor enquired.
“Well I was with a German Colombian girl in Berlin and while she was super hot I just didn’t want to f$%k her,” I remarked.
“Take it or leave it, eh? That’s one of the symptoms”. Great – a funny doctor.
He prescribed me cabergoline, a dopamine agonist, which would lower my prolactin and in turn raise my testosterone production.
Side effects included headaches, nausea, gambling addiction and impulsive sexual behaviour. Hmmm … sounds like my kind of drug.
I started taking the drug on 30 July and immediately noticed the effects. Over the coming days my desire to game had increased and my libido returned.
It was like night and day – morning erections, desire to masturbate, and genuine horniness and sexual edge when I was out gaming during the day or at night.
I had regained my lust for life.