Let’s call my neighbour Red Pill Brother (RP) and his twin Blue Pill Brother (BP).
RP, referenced in the post Former Beta Male Benefits (and skillfully deconstructed by Nash of Days of Game fame), confided in me that his BP, born sixteen minutes ahead of him, had only had two sexual partners in his life – one, a relationship of nine years, and the other, a liaison with one of her best friends after the relationship ended.
RP, from my few long conversations with him, was clearly Red Pill in the best sense of the word. While he described himself as a natural, he was aware that others were not – particularly his brother. Women described RP as having “it”, “Mr Charisma” and often “creepy”. When I listened to him, I could hear the Game that I was learning – strong identity, negs, false takeaways, freeze outs, expressing desire freely, frame, setting expectations, abundance mentality (which is really the skill to get a new woman quickly) and a good understanding of female psychology. He would describe giving girls “spice”, a thrill, adventures they would not forget. Women would fly to see him in other countries; describe sex as the best they have ever had; and cry when he ended the adventure and cut the interaction. I shared some of my Applied Game (so-to-speak) experiences, and in me he could see himself.
RP had travelled the world, slept with hundreds of women, knew the value of Game, and more so the value of adventures. He was nomadic in attitude yet a combination of looks, charm and lip (ie. good banter). In Australia we use the term “larrikin” – an all-round good “bloke” or guy yet with an edge that women knew to be “it”. His next journey, to Africa, planned to last six months and would end in Barcelona, the city of his current – and only – live-in girlfriend.
RP and his brother were equally naturals at the time of their late teens, both attractive in appearance, yet BP’s early reference experience – his first woman – ended up being a long-term relationship of nine years. RP describes her as a woman that his brother didn’t really like and desire yet stayed with her. They were both boring, according to RP, sufficiently exciting in their own bubble but boring by RP’s standards. Eventually, BP ended the relationship and the girl was devastated.
BP came to Sydney from Melbourne for the weekend. I saw a photo of them both and BP’s attractiveness was striking – how could this man only have had two lovers in his lifetime? BP claimed he was “healing” since his separation last June – code for not wanting to meet women. They both attended a concert in Sydney and BP had been approached by a young girl – 19 or 20 – who was clearly keen on him. It was quite clear to RP to take advantage of the opportunity in a bold kind of way … yet BP went home sexless.
RP and I reflected on his brother’s situation. RP told me that his brother thought his “womanising” was “disrespectful”; that he “ought” to find someone and settle down; that it was just a “phase”. A curious topic formed: RP believed that due to his brother’s lack of reference experience, a woman would sense BP’s greenness, either during 1. the pickup, 2. in the bedroom, or 3. due to his mindset.
A formula came to mind:
Mindset + Game + Sexual Skills = women
Deficiencies in any of these areas RP seemed to notice – he talked about a recent male German backpacker friend who was staying with me who appeared to lack some of the Game required to pick up women consistently. I knew the Sexual Skills were there – the German and I had discussed techniques, dark energy, dominance – yet RP sensed a lack of Game in getting to the bedroom.
RP left; I put my son (from my “Beta days”) to bed; and sat down with a cup of tea. It occurred to me that genetics was only a part factor in what makes a man fit into these abstract categories we know as Alpha/Beta.
How is it that a reference experience of one women could have led BP down a path of a nine-year relationship with someone he did not really want?
What distinguished RP’s from BP’s sexual development and growth?
What does this mean concerning the “genetic” nature of Alphas and Betas?
What are the internal characteristics of each brother that drove BP to lead this kind of life while his RP brother became nomadic and travelled the world sleeping with women and creating adventure and excitement for all of them?
I had some thoughts regarding the first relationship BP had had – my son’s mother was that kind of woman to me – first deeply wanted by me and then a millstone around my neck as I sought to shake off the guilt of just getting rid of her. I tried to get rid of her twice but relented and kept her. It was my conscience trying to “be good”. We had a child and then, after I realised she had had the child to “strengthen the relationship”, I ended it. I panicked, tried to get her back, and then finally dumped her and told her to leave. I had had a child to a woman who did not really want me.
But more interestingly, I also had had a relationship of nine years – also my first – which eventually ended when my ex partner took the first step to open it up – for me. She gave me a certificate on my birthday with permission to do what I wanted with women. Even in this she was leading the interaction as the feeling of guilt weighed down on me that I wanted to fuck other women.
For me, two sexual reference experiences in 14 years from 21 to 35, yet eight reference experiences since December 2017, each one informing my understanding of women and game. This is what drives me now.
So for BP I started to feel a lot of empathy, the kind that knows what it is like to be truly Blue Pill, be blinded to Red Pill ideas and experiences, attempt to shame and guilt men who are Red Pill, and then feel hopeless and zeroed out when the whole facade crashes.
1. One of the key commonalities between BP and I is a strong early reference experience that guides thinking through the crucial years of when many peers are engaged in casual sex and promiscuity.
2. BP is highly intelligent, settled and “boring” – yet likely to have a large ego and fighting against the idea of needing to change. This change would be described as an “ego crush”. I was that guy – and employed coaches in various aspects of my life to break my ego, saying to the coach: “Be directive – whatever you ask me to do, I will do it. I’m here to break my ego”.
3. Formula – Mindset + Game + Sexual Skills = women